It was my birthday today, I had a fun time, but some things are just not right...

I'm always happy, I'm a happy person that sends positivity to everyone he knows, I feel great most of the time, but some things bother me a lot, I have constant panic attacks since this pandemic started, my mental health deteriorated, anxiety was in my way...

I tried to help myself by going to therapists, by speaking with people, meditation, I tried everything, but the panic and anxiety attacks still kick in, I can't evade them, and they're scary.

Today, my hand partially paralyzed and it scared the living shit out of me, panic and anxiety kicked in, I thought I will die, but then, everything was normal, in part, I blame myself for taking this "too seriously", but I also can't help to think that it might have been a smart move, anyways, hope you had a great day, better than mine, at least...